Nutrition Part One: Counting Calories

Diet Starts Monday.

You hear this often and I've even said it a few times myself.

The key word here being "diet". Diet/Nutrition is a HUGE part of weight loss. I've heard that weight loss is "80% Diet, 20% Exercise". I've also heard "You can't out exercise a bad diet".

But Nutrition is not an easy subject because there are so many variables that play into it. Our body mass, our metabolism, our height, our age, the food we put into our bodies, the quality, the quantity, etc. There are so many things that factor into nutrition that you really have to find out what works for you.

I started with Calorie Counting.

Now often times when I am asked how I lost my weight and I try to put simply by saying "I exercise and calorie count", people look at me with a sympathetic look or tell me they could never do that. But for me, what did seem difficult at first was really not as hard as it seemed.

There is a great app and website that most people know of called My Fitness Pal. It is an app that lets you put in your stats (ht, wt, age, activity level, etc) and figures out how many calories you need to consume based on your goal (ie. lose 1 lb a week). When you figure that out you have an idea of how many calories a day you get to eat in order to capture your goal.

The problem with this is that many people want to lose as much weight as fast as possible and set their goals at lose 2-3 lb a week which may put your calorie intake at dangerous starving levels which will cause your body to drastically reduce your basal metabolic rate (BMR) and kill your metabolism that you have been working so hard to "fire up".

That is when I found TDEE. Which I post about HERE. It was the best way for me to eat enough calories to keep my metabolism going as well as lose weight and feel satiated.

After you figure out how many calories you need to eat you can record everything you eat in a meal log on the app. The great thing about this is that anything with a bar code you can scan and it will automatically bring up the food label, and it has a vast library of foods from peaches to restaurant meals that give you a good idea of how many calories are in the foods you are eating. It will never be exact, but it is a lot more accurate than guessing. And it brings up foods you have recently eaten. So if you have eggs for breakfast every day, it will bring that up and it takes about 5 seconds to log your meal. Not very time consuming.

I also went to dollar tree and bought a bunch of measuring cups and spoons and a food scale from Target to be able to weigh and measure proportions. You think you know how much you are eating until you actually measure a serving of cereal and realize all along you were actually eating 2.5 servings in your bowl. Here is another secret about cereal. If you eat honey nut cheerios you get 3/4 a cup for about 120 calories, but if you go for regular cheerios you can eat 1 and 1/4 cups for about the same amount of calories. If your like me and love to eat, you go for the larger quantity for same amount of calories. This is the beauty of fruits and vegetables as well.

TDEE

The reason I discovered TDEE was because when I started counting my calories and lose weight, I decided I wanted to lose weight faster. SO I decreased my calories to 1600 a day and not eating back any exercise calories. I did lose weight, but not as fast as I had hoped. In fact, I experienced my first weight loss plateau on this calorie restriction where I didn't lose any weight for 2 weeks.

And I was HUNGRY. I was hungry all the time. I would wake up ravenous and by the time it was bed time I couldn't wait to go to sleep so I didn't have to feel hungry anymore. Sometimes I would go to sleep early so I wouldn't be hungry. I knew this was not going to last and eventually I'd break and binge on a whole pan of brownies or a whole Pizza or something.

And I was TIRED. I didn't feel like I had enough energy to make it through my day, let alone enough for a good workout that I could really push myself. Sometimes I would crash in the middle of the day on the couch and my kids would have to wake me up.

I WAS MISERABLE. I knew this was not how I wanted to live and not the way I wanted to be "healthy". I knew I would not stick with my life change if I felt this way all the time. It was a recipe for disaster.

SO I google'd again and discovered TDEE.

TDEE stands for Total Daily Energy Expenditure. It is the amount of calories you can consume a day based on your activity level.

It takes into account your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) which is the amount of calories your body needs at complete rest to keep your organs, and body functioning. Any activity would increase this amount including walking to the bathroom, etc.

TDEE is your BMR + approximately how many calories you burn throughout the day based on your activity level. TDEE allows you to have so many calories a day based on how much activity you do. So more activity = more calories. :)  Sedentary, Light, Moderate, Strenuous exercise. The more calories you burn, the more you get to eat!

There are lots of calculators including:

Scooby Calculator
The Fit Girls
The Skinny Equation

The Scooby calculator is my favorite because it figures out your TDEE to maintain your weight or you can decreased it to TDEE -10% -15% -20% to lose weight. It is recommended not to go over -20% because that is when you start getting into metabolism wrecker mode (aka starvation mode). Not a good place to be in. The weight may not fly off, but it comes off in a healthy and easy way instead of losing 2 lb's a week by starving, and then sabotaging your weight loss with a binge because you are just so darn hungry. It took me 6.5 months to lose 20 lb's. But I was able to eat a good amount of calories while doing it.

Example: I am 155 lb's and I want to maintain my weight. I'm 5'9" and 32 years old and work out 5 days a week.  I get to eat 2293 calories to maintain my weight!!!  If I want to lose I go TDEE-15% I still get to eat 1972 calories and lose weight!

Wait What?!? I don't have to eat 1600 or even a scary 1200 to lose weight?!?! Nope. You can eat enough to fire up your metabolism by eating small meals all throughout the day so you never get to starving mode and overeat, and you have lots more energy to push yourself in your workouts. It also motivates you to workout, because if you work out you get to eat a little more than if you were sedentary. Plus it is easier to maintain when you get to your goal weight and want to maintain it hopefully for the rest of your life. A Healthy Metabolism is a Happy Metabolism!

I am just explaining this very basic. If you would like a good read, this post helped explain it to me the most and really made sense. She calls it "Reverse Dieting":

http://corinanielsen.com/livefit/?p=1802

So my plea to any readers considering a strict 1200 calorie a day restriction is to consider these healthy options where you get to eat food, work out hard, and enjoy a healthy lifestyle. Losing weight requires a lot of hard work and dedication. So you may as well not be miserable while doing it!

The Reasons I Made a Change

The reason I decided to make a life change was not to "lose weight" per say. It was a combination of a whole lot if things that happened all at the same time that really woke me up.

It started with anger.

I have suffered with anxiety on and off probably my entire life, but never did I recognize it until it debilitated me after having my son Max. My anxiety was pushed so incredibly high that it sunk me it to some of the darkest days of my life. Postpartum depression. Mine was primarily driven by anxiety and my tendency to worry all the time. I was able to recognize it quicker after having Ashleigh, but I experienced it after having her as well. I was given medication that helped me immensely. But medications have side effects. Those side effects caused me to try weaning myself from them almost 1 year after having my son. I felt alright and much better overall so I did not continue them.

Then after experiencing PPD after Ashleigh I tried a different medication which helped me even more, with less side effects. So I figured I would just stay on that one to help me with my overall anxiety. But I did still experience side effects. And when Ashleigh was 10 months I kept forgetting to take my pills and I felt ok so I ended up weaning myself off again.

 I felt I was doing fine until I noticed something creep up on me slowly. Anger. I started feeling angry. I was angry at my husband most of the time over insignificant things. I was angry at my kids and the smallest things would set me off into a yelling and sometimes screaming and swearing fit. I am not proud of it, but it would happen. I was angry whenever I'd open up Facebook and see all the nasty things people comment with no accountability or tact and want to throw my phone out the window! I actually googled feeling angry all the time (I google a lot) and it brought to my attention that anger can be a form of depression.

Here I was again. Depression.

I considered immediately going back on my meds, but those darn side effects made me hesitate. I'm not anti medication in the least. They saved my life. But I hesitated.

Maybe there was another way?

Shortly after my realization of my anger/depression I had a little conversation with my cousin and her husband as she lay in her hospital bed after giving birth to her twins. My husband has suffered from a myriad of health issues and I was concerned for him as well as my own health. My cousins husband had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and was able to turn it around by losing some weight and exercising. He told me that even 10 minutes of exercise made a difference in how he felt. 10 measly minutes. I could find 10 minutes in a day. I left the hospital really thinking about how I needed to make some healthy changes in my life.

But how do I start? Starting, I believe, is the greatest challenge. Where to start?? I thought, I'll give up soda. Coke. It is a favorite of mine. A vice. It had turned from an occasional drink to every morning, the first thing I would do is pop open a can of cherry coke. And non of that diet stuff. I can't do that. It had to be the succulent, sweet, high fructose corn syrup filled stuff.

So I gave up soda. Two days into it I considered caving. I wanted my cherry coke. But 2 days in I had a work meeting. One that I had no idea would change me so much.

We had a in service  by the amazing Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at Primary Children's Hospital on compassion fatigue. As a nurse, we are often faced with this issue because day in and day out you are taking care of others, helping them with daily tasks that used to be easy, providing care for those who have often lost some of their own freedoms through illness or injury. Some families can be emotionally exhausting, sometimes you don't always provide everything your patient wants, even when you are giving them everything you have. It is exhausting.

We took a little quiz to see if we were indeed  experiencing compassion fatigue. One just like this : http://www.compassionfatigue.org/pages/cfassessment.html . As I answered each question I became more aware of the fact that I was indeed experiencing compassion fatigue. Bit it wasn't at work that I was experiencing it.  It was at home. I tried so hard to think of my family first that I was forgetting to take care of my needs as well. Which in turn made my home life, my kids, my husband, suffer through the fact that their wife and mom was EXHAUSTED  and running on empty most of the time.

Then the EAP woman went on to give us suggestions  to help recover from compassion fatigue. Guess what was at the top of the list. Eating Healthy. Exercising. Drinking lots of water. Building healthy relationships. Becoming  proactive. All things I wanted in my life.

It was enough to really jolt me awake. I needed to put myself first right now. I needed to put my physical and mental health at a priority. I couldn't keep taking care of others if I didn't first take care of myself. I needed to drastically change my eating and exercise habits, or go back on medication... Or both. But I needed a change.

So that day I decided I was going to commit myself to 30 days. 30 days of eating healthy food (I was able to choose what was healthy... No diets), of exercising AT LEAST 10 minutes every day, and no soda. 30 days. Since habits supposedly take at least 21 days to form I thought that 30 days would be enough time to form healthy habits. Notice I didn't put a unrealistic number for weight loss or any weight loss at all for a goal. And I'm glad about that, because I would have become discouraged easily as I got started. Because I honestly thought that 1 week into it I would drop 5 lbs with all the habits I was changing. However the scale only budged 1 lb. I had to set realistic and obtainable goals.

Whatever reason you have in your life for wanting to be healthy and possibly losing some weight, my best suggestion is to start small. If you look at your goal of say losing 20lbs it may seem like climbing mountain. But if you make small goals they look more like small hills you can climb to. You still have to put in some effort, but your less likely to quit when the top is right there. I read somewhere that instead of your goal is being lose 20lb's say "I want to lose 1lb 20 times". Starting small helped me be successful and stick with it.

So whatever motivates you to make a change, grasp on to it. It will help you when times get tough, and when you want to give up. Because that will happen. It's not an easy road, but so worth it. 30 days is not too hard, and those 30 days can turn into more days, weeks, and months until you get to your ultimate goal. The top of the mountain. And you look down and realize it was all worth it.

Speech Delay

 

I have often wondered and worried about Max's speech. From the time he said his first word I felt like he was a little behind.

His first word was "ball" and it sounded more like "bah" but it was always directed toward a ball so I knew what he was talking about. He was 10 months when he started saying ball.

Then months went by, about three before he uttered any other words. He then said "car" at about 13 months, but it sounded more like "cahh", but again it was directed toward either honking or passing cars so I knew he knew that word.

Then more words started trickling in so I felt a little better. Though he didn't call me "Momma" until after he was 18 months. But he knew his shapes and his basic body parts so I figured he was doing okay.

At 2 years old I mentioned it to my pediatrician. He felt like he was doing OK and that he would probably catch up. Max had the right "amount" of words as he did know lots of words, but he didn't say them properly. He knew his shapes if I asked him to point to them. But if he had to repeat them back to me circle was "goo" and square was "care" and rectangle, triangle were both "Kettit". He often dropped one of the syllables in 2 syllable words. He was hard to understand and he would throw tantrums all the time.

Every time I FINALLY discovered what he was saying I would celebrate because I could actually understand what he wanted. But I didn't realize I was the only one. He would say things to Chris and Chris would often ask me what he was saying, and I would have to translate. He wasn't pronouncing words and he wasn't talking well. I figured he was a boy and a "late talker" and that he would catch up.

At about 2 1/2 I really felt like there was a problem. But we were dealing with so much at the time. The birth of his baby sister, the move to our new house. We had so much going on, so many changes, so I just said, I'll wait until he is 3. Just before he turned 3 my mom really encouraged me to seek out help and get him evaluated. I knew she was right, but didn't really know my options.

At his 3 year check up I mentioned to my pediatrician my concerns. The fact that he was not forming his own sentences at all. He could say the ones we use frequently like "What's that?" "What are you doing" "It's OK". Also, I would ask him things and he would just stare blankly like I was speaking Russian to him. He was throwing multiple tantrums daily centered around me not understanding him, and I was getting overly frustrated with him. We were not doing well together. My pediatrician gave me some options to get him evaluated starting with the school district.

So I called Jordan School District who sent me a packet. I filled out all the pages and pages of questions I had to ask him (he doesn't answer most questions) and instructions he had to follow (again, not much comprehension of those). It was tough to get through. Then I sent the paper work and they called me to schedule an evaluation. They couldn't get him in for 6 weeks. 6 weeks out.

So we waited. In those 6 weeks he started pronouncing words so much better. Elephant went from "eeh" to "ettent" to "ephant" to "etaphant" in approx. that much time. He was saying "BAnana instead of "nanna". And he was even putting 2 words together is a sort of sentence on his own.

At his evaluation they checked his hearing, his eye sight, and asked him lot of questions. He was somewhat cooperative thank goodness as he frustrates easily (probably from the years of miscommunication). In the end they told me he scored low and needed to come back for ANOTHER evaluation. At least this one was only 2 weeks instead of 6. But still... more waiting.

I was relieved after this evaluation because I KNEW there was a problem despite everyone telling me that he was a boy, that they could understand him, that he would catch up. I was so happy we were finally going to get him the help he needed! I was ready to do WHATEVER IT TOOK!

At his final evaluation he was nervous as he always is in new places with new people. He was shaking and shy. He whispered most of his answers even when I asked him to talk louder so they could hear. They asked me and him TONS of questions. I mean I felt overwhelmed by questions and so I can imagine how he felt. The teacher kept commenting on how he was "flat and emotionless". I told them he is scared. She also commented on his hand tremmoring when she was testing his fine motor skills. Again I said he was scared. She almost made me feel like they were suspecting he was autistic. She didn't even seem to believe me when I told her that he knew all his letters and could identify them not in chronological order.

After the long evaluation they told me he scored in the 1% for speech, language, comprehension, and social for kids his age (39months). I was shocked. I knew he was delayed, but I didn't know it was that severe.

That's when reality sorta hit me. This wasn't a problem that was just going to go away. He wasn't going to grow out of it. He was going to need help. And maybe not for months, or a year. Maybe for years. Maybe this is something he will continue to struggle with his whole life. Who knows? A flood of emotions hit me. Why didn't I get him evaluated sooner. We could have saved both of us from more than a year of frustration and tantrums. What if my "wait and see" attitude will cause him to struggle more than if I would have started speech therapy when he was 2. My Adorable little boy wasn't "normal".

They told me he qualified for speech preschool and that he would start in the fall.

I am so glad that he will get free services through the school, but I don't want to waste a minute longer. I have been waiting for too long already and wanted to start therapy immediately! So I contacted the rehab services at Primary Children's to see if we can get him some therapy before he starts preschool in the fall.

Of course they can't get him in until the beginning of July, but that is earlier than August 28th. So we are beginning the long journey of helping Max with his speech and language. I really hope that he will catch on quickly and progress fast, but time will tell. I love my little guy so much and look forward to being able to communicate with him better and for all our lives to improve.

Some of my favorites

Update

Obviously I am horrible at blogging. I know it is because I do most of my "Internet time" on my phone. So Facebook and Instagram have been my go to for pictures and updates. And most people who read my blog are friends with me on either or both.

However, I always said I would use my blog to document things going on in life as sort of a journal that anyone can read.

So... Ashleigh is 7 months. 7 MONTHS! And Max is 3. Time is just flying!! It is so strange to me that I graduated college 9 years ago, and I graduated high school 13 years ago. Time used to go by so slow and it seemed to just pick up.

Ashleigh is doing great. She is a sweet baby, very pleasant and mild tempered. She isn't the best night sleeper, but I think I understand why and it is out of my control. She has been trying to crawl for the last month and has gotten to the point that she can scoot backwards and roll to where she wants to go, but has yet to propel herself forward. She does get frustrated about it sometimes and cries. She is just trying so hard but can't figure it out yet (thank goodness). She LOVES to go places and people watch. If she is cranky one day, all I have to do is run an errand and she is content as can be. She hates taking bottles, but I think I have finally found a couple that she may take. It kinda has to been on her terms because she takes it a lot better if she can feed herself. She loves solid food, the only thing she has pulled a face with was the mashed potatoes I gave her yesterday. She is happy and loves attention and to giggle. She LOVES her brother and watches his every move.

Max is also doing great. At his 3 year appointment with his pediatrician in March he still wasn't forming his own sentences that were longer that 2 words. So we decided to get him evaluated by a speech therapist. I contacted the school district who mailed me a questionnaire that I filled out and mailed back, then they had me call a schedule an appointment and couldn't get me in for another 6 weeks. So in the meantime he has made so much progress with his speech! He forms sentences and has picked up on so many new words. But I still think he is behind and may still benefit from speech therapy, but I am so grateful that after months of no progress he has been making leaps and bounds. He is my energetic boy that loves Caillou right now (drives me nuts) and he is his own determined stubborn little self. I love the kid though! He makes me laugh all the time. 3 year olds can be hilarious sometimes!

Chris has been doing great at his job. His schedule is all over the place which makes it difficult to coordinate things, but we have finally decided to schedule our first FAMILY vacation in July! We are so excited to go see my sister in Huntington Beach and enjoy So Cal.

So That's what is happening at the moment!

Max is 3!

 

I can't believe my little boy is 3!

 

Newborn

 

 

1 year

 

2 year 

 

3 year 

 

For Max's birthday I wanted to go a little low key like last year. I decided to do a little jungle theme as he loves animals and the movie The Lion King.

 

I spent the morning convincing him to wear jeans because every time I put them on he says "ouch". Then I spent the rest chasing him around trying to get a good picture of him. I wanted to do a "photo shoot" with my nice camera, but this is how it ended up. After about 20 minutes of this "game" I gave up.

 

 

We spent some of the afternoon at my cousins daughter Kennedy's First birthday party. Max had a blast playing with the OLD and NEW little people farms.

 

Then we went to Fazoli's for dinner. He LOVES noodles!

 

Chris got him his own basket ball hoop

 

Mimi gave him a bouncy ball

 

He also recieved the Lion King. We currently have it on DVR recorded from ABC family.

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He also got a stick horse from Papa and Mimi

 

Mimi, Papa, Max, and Ashleigh

 

Making some hoops

 

We put trick candles on his cake since he liked blowing out his papa's candles so much!

 

Aunt Patti gave him some cool cars!

 

I still can't believe how fast he's growing!