Thank You a la Jimmy Fallon

This video had me rolling! I love Jimmy Fallon's "Thank You Notes". Hilarious!

Thank You Notes, Jude Law, Abby Elliott, & Christmas Sweaters

This inspired me to think of all the things that I am thankful for. So in the spirit of Jimmy Fallon I would like to write my Thank You notes.

Thank You Angry Holiday Shoppers,

For truly bringing the holiday spirit to all those around you. You really inspire others to be full of Christmas Cheer. And thank you for turning left in front of me in the Mall parking lot, even though I had the right of way. And for honking your horn in anger like I was in the wrong when I tried to turn right before you, scaring me half to death. It really made me want to burst into holiday song. Merry freaking Christmas!

Thank You Junk E-mail,

For cluttering up my emails so severely that if I don't check my e-mail for a week, I will have over 200 new emails. I really love spending the time deleting each one and probably missing out on an important ones in the process. It is probably my favorite pass time.

Thank You Regular Junk Mail,

For cluttering up my real mailbox. I love looking at ads of stores that I never shop at and catalogs that I have not purchased from in over 3 years. And for taking up so much space that I have missed important mail such as bills and jury duty. I am so glad you were sent to me so I could fill up land fields with your uselessness.

Thank You Squished Bladder,

For waking me up in the middle of the night. I love spending the next hour trying to get back to sleep. And Thank You for giving me that wonderful feeling of urgency every time I stand up. It is so nice to need to run to the bathroom all the time. I really am looking forward to the time when I will become incontinent every time I laugh, cough, and sneeze.

Thank You Sciatic Nerve,

For the shooting pain you send down my leg. I love limping. It really adds to the "waddle" I already have.

Thank You Dry Eyes,

For making it nearly impossible to wear my contacts for more than 6 hours. I really love wearing my 5 year old glasses that I can barely see out of. And thank you Costco lady for the lecture on not spending money on new glasses because I am pregnant, even though I already talked to my ophthalmologist about it (AND HE GAVE ME A NEW PRESCRIPTION). I really think you know more than him. I guess not seeing is just another part of being pregnant.

Thank You Laundry,

For never being entirely done. Even if my entire house is clean, I know the vary clothes I am wearing is just another chore waiting to be done. And thank you dryer for never getting my clothes dry enough so I have to run two cycles. Just what I wanted to do ALL DAY LONG.... laundry.

Thank You Left-overs,

For being entirely gross. Why do I save you? I don't want to be wasteful, but I will not eat you. I didn't even like you that much when you were fresh. I am just creating more work for myself when I throw you away in a week and have to clean all my Tupperware. Plus you occasionally grow things that make me want to hurl. Should of just gotten rid of you in the first place!

And Thank You Jimmy Fallon... for giving me an outlet to vent!