It's funny. Before I had little baby Max, people always used to say things along the lines of, "Get your sleep while you can... ha ha." I had already struggled with a lot of insomnia toward the end of my pregnancy. But I had no idea the sleep deprivation I would be facing!
I have always loved sleep, and never handled a lack of sleep super well. When I was in nursing school I was only allowed about 5 hours a night during the week and about 8 on the weekends due to work, school, and homework. And I was barely coping with things then.
So you can imagine, I have found this sleep deprivation to be a lot more taxing then others might. I have had a hard time coping with 2 hours here, 30 minutes there. And believe me, Chris, my mom, his mom, and my cousin have all given me relief time, but the problem is when I do lay down to finally catch some non interrupted shut eye, I either can't sleep, or wake up every 30 minutes-1 hour. If I here Max cry at all, I wake up. Sometimes I dream that he is crying and wake up. It is very vexing. I just want some damn sleep! Why won't my body let me sleep!
I sleep the best with my son snuggled in my arms where I know he is safe, and not crying. And he sleeps the best that way too. The most he has slept in is crib = 1.5 hour. In my arms = a little over 3. I never wanted (and still don't) want to be a co-sleeper. But if that is the only way that we get sleep...so be it!
Needless to say, the no sleep only exacerbates the postpartum depression. I have good days and bad days (hence the lack of exciting posts!), but I am going to talk to my doctor this week and find out a solution so we have a happy mom and happy baby.
Max has had a fussy week. He will be 6 weeks tomorrow which is supposed to be the "peak" of fussiness. I can only hope. But he is still my cute little man that I love and need to go snuggle.
1 comment:
I have had three or four friends with newborn babies recently, and they all say the same thing. That they just had no idea.
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