While vacuuming my front room today Max was running around screaming. Screaming at the top of his lungs. I was trying to figure out if he was scared, or just trying to be louder than the vacuum. Though I highly suspect the latter.
He has been screaming a lot lately, mostly when he doesn't get what he wants or has trouble communicating with us. I have read that this is a normal part of his development. He is discovering his voice, what it can do, and what he can get from it. If you don't want to reinforce the behavior you are simply supposed to ignore it. If you respond emotionally i.e. hurry and run to his aid, or scream at him yourself, you only make the problem worse. So you just ignore it... which can be very hard to do.
That got me thinking. You know when you are in public and some kid's screaming at the top of his/her lungs or crying and it seems like the parent is just ignoring it!?! Well, that is what the parent has been conditioned to do. Ignore it or don't respond too emotionally. So they may in fact not even realize it is happening, or don't want to reinforce behavior they have worked so hard not to at home, in public. The best thing to do is for the parent to remove the child from the situation to a calmer, quieter, less distracting area (TIME OUT) until they are able to calm down. It can be difficult to find this place when you are in an airplane, or the checkout line at a grocery store.
I think every parent would like to think they have control over their children, but you don't. They are going to be their own little person. Some kids are easier than others. Some kids aren't screamers. And some are. Some are biters, and some aren't. Some wouldn't dream of disobeying their parents, while others look for any way they can rebel. We all have our challenges as parents. And every stage in life brings on so many more and different challenges.
Anyway, next time I'm in a place where a child is screaming or being disruptive, I will try to keep my judgements/disgust to myself. Because it could so easily be me trying to control my disruptive child.
Is it too much to ask for everyone else to do the same?
2 comments:
It was so nice to see this post because I am dealing with the screaming with Keegan right now.Sometimes it's just nice to know you aren't alone and when I see this happen in public I just think to myself I am so glad it's not mine this time.haha
Oh Lisa I know the feeling. I have gotten pretty good at ignoring the screaming. It is so embarrassing at the store though. I just say to people walking by with a smile on my face, "Yes that is my child screaming. :)"
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