While vacuuming my front room today Max was running around screaming. Screaming at the top of his lungs. I was trying to figure out if he was scared, or just trying to be louder than the vacuum. Though I highly suspect the latter.
He has been screaming a lot lately, mostly when he doesn't get what he wants or has trouble communicating with us. I have read that this is a normal part of his development. He is discovering his voice, what it can do, and what he can get from it. If you don't want to reinforce the behavior you are simply supposed to ignore it. If you respond emotionally i.e. hurry and run to his aid, or scream at him yourself, you only make the problem worse. So you just ignore it... which can be very hard to do.
That got me thinking. You know when you are in public and some kid's screaming at the top of his/her lungs or crying and it seems like the parent is just ignoring it!?! Well, that is what the parent has been conditioned to do. Ignore it or don't respond too emotionally. So they may in fact not even realize it is happening, or don't want to reinforce behavior they have worked so hard not to at home, in public. The best thing to do is for the parent to remove the child from the situation to a calmer, quieter, less distracting area (TIME OUT) until they are able to calm down. It can be difficult to find this place when you are in an airplane, or the checkout line at a grocery store.
I think every parent would like to think they have control over their children, but you don't. They are going to be their own little person. Some kids are easier than others. Some kids aren't screamers. And some are. Some are biters, and some aren't. Some wouldn't dream of disobeying their parents, while others look for any way they can rebel. We all have our challenges as parents. And every stage in life brings on so many more and different challenges.
Anyway, next time I'm in a place where a child is screaming or being disruptive, I will try to keep my judgements/disgust to myself. Because it could so easily be me trying to control my disruptive child.
Is it too much to ask for everyone else to do the same?
Showing posts with label Life Lesson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lesson. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Quiet Moments
Since becoming a Mom, I don't have as many quiet moments. You know, those moments in life where there are no distractions and you can think and reflect on how you feel about life. Moments where you can process your thoughts and feelings about a variety of different subjects. Since having Max, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, there is lots of noise and lots of distractions. And I have to admit, when he takes a nap or goes to bed, I try to squeeze in as much stuff including a nap for myself, or cleaning, or watching a TV show that I want to watch.
I feel like those quiet moments helped feed into my creativity. Since I don't have as many, I feel less creative and less reflective. I think that is why my blog recently is all about Max and his growth and development more than my OWN "life lesson's". He is what I think and reflect a lot about since he is such a major part of my life. He is my life lesson for right now. And he is teaching me a lot.
The most common time I get quiet moments are when I drive to and from work. That is the time when I don't have many distractions (besides other drivers) or noise.That is when I reflect and process and am more creative. I have actually felt like I have come up with great blog posts that I write in my head as I drive. But alas, I come home, put Max to bed and then feed myself, and then I usually want to go to bed. By that point, I have usually either forgotten about my clever blog post, or I don't feel like I have enough energy to type it in.
I know when my kids are grown, I may have too many quiet moments. And I will long for the days of the constant companionship of my little ones. I need to remember that.
But for now I will relish my quiet moments, even if it is driving to and from work.
I feel like those quiet moments helped feed into my creativity. Since I don't have as many, I feel less creative and less reflective. I think that is why my blog recently is all about Max and his growth and development more than my OWN "life lesson's". He is what I think and reflect a lot about since he is such a major part of my life. He is my life lesson for right now. And he is teaching me a lot.
The most common time I get quiet moments are when I drive to and from work. That is the time when I don't have many distractions (besides other drivers) or noise.That is when I reflect and process and am more creative. I have actually felt like I have come up with great blog posts that I write in my head as I drive. But alas, I come home, put Max to bed and then feed myself, and then I usually want to go to bed. By that point, I have usually either forgotten about my clever blog post, or I don't feel like I have enough energy to type it in.
I know when my kids are grown, I may have too many quiet moments. And I will long for the days of the constant companionship of my little ones. I need to remember that.
But for now I will relish my quiet moments, even if it is driving to and from work.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Febrile
Max is sick
AGAIN
So is Chris. I feel like the illnesses will just not go away.
It started out with Max getting fevers last Thursday-Saturday. They weren't too high 101 at the most. He also had a little bit of a runny nose. "Teething" we thought.. Then they went away. And all that was left was a runny nose and mild cough.
Then today they came back with a vengeance. He woke up at around 100.6. Not bad I thought, and gave him some Motrin. At noon they were 101.5, gave him some Tylenol. He was a little more fussy, and didn't want his bottle, but otherwise business as usual. Then he went up to 102.7. So I did Motrin again and got a little worried. His fever wouldn't break despite the medications. He went down to 100.4 after the Motrin (about 45 minutes after) then spiked up to 103.6 about 1.5 hours later.
So this is where being a nurse and being a mom gets hard. You would assume that being a nurse I would be like "stick a band aid on it and you'll be alright". Fevers are common and many virus's cause fevers. But this is MY CHILD. And with my knowledge I know that many virus's cause fevers and they just have to run their course. BUT I also know that many other things cause fevers, ear infections, UTI's, abscess's, bacterial infections, pneumonia, and God forbid MENINGITIS or SEPSIS! High fevers can even cause seizures in kids! So maybe being a nurse is to my disadvantage. Maybe if I was naive I wouldn't know the worst case scenario and just believe my baby is just a little sick (which is probably the case). Instead I'm fence sitting here trying to decide if he needs to see a doctor now, or can wait for his "12 month well child checkup" tomorrow.
As I put him to sleep tonight I just held him and rocked him. My normally active-always-on-the-go-never-really-cuddles-unless-he's-almost-asleep boy let me hold him, even though he was awake. As I rocked my feverish bottle refusing child, I sang to him. I sang (I actually hum) all his regular songs, then I started singing all the ones I sang to him all hours of the night when he would not sleep as a newborn. The ones I sang on the floor to him when he finally needed to learn to put himself to sleep in his crib, yet I felt too guilty to let him cry all alone. All those songs brought so many memories back.
I had a moment. I know he is only 13 months, but in the last 13 months I have experienced emotions I never even knew I was capable of. From the most unexplainable blissful joy to the most extreme frustration to the most intense urge to protect to the craziest anxiety to uncontrollable laughter and the deepest depression. Being a parent is hard (and I know it will only get harder). But as I held my little boy just wishing I could take his fever, discomfort, sadness, misery, and any horrible experience he EVER may come across away from him... I knew that being a parent is the most fantastic, amazing, and extremely sacred experience I have the honor of being a part of. In that peaceful moment, when he was finally able to calm and go to sleep, I was his Momma. One of the most important jobs in the world.
AGAIN
So is Chris. I feel like the illnesses will just not go away.
It started out with Max getting fevers last Thursday-Saturday. They weren't too high 101 at the most. He also had a little bit of a runny nose. "Teething" we thought.. Then they went away. And all that was left was a runny nose and mild cough.
Then today they came back with a vengeance. He woke up at around 100.6. Not bad I thought, and gave him some Motrin. At noon they were 101.5, gave him some Tylenol. He was a little more fussy, and didn't want his bottle, but otherwise business as usual. Then he went up to 102.7. So I did Motrin again and got a little worried. His fever wouldn't break despite the medications. He went down to 100.4 after the Motrin (about 45 minutes after) then spiked up to 103.6 about 1.5 hours later.
So this is where being a nurse and being a mom gets hard. You would assume that being a nurse I would be like "stick a band aid on it and you'll be alright". Fevers are common and many virus's cause fevers. But this is MY CHILD. And with my knowledge I know that many virus's cause fevers and they just have to run their course. BUT I also know that many other things cause fevers, ear infections, UTI's, abscess's, bacterial infections, pneumonia, and God forbid MENINGITIS or SEPSIS! High fevers can even cause seizures in kids! So maybe being a nurse is to my disadvantage. Maybe if I was naive I wouldn't know the worst case scenario and just believe my baby is just a little sick (which is probably the case). Instead I'm fence sitting here trying to decide if he needs to see a doctor now, or can wait for his "12 month well child checkup" tomorrow.
As I put him to sleep tonight I just held him and rocked him. My normally active-always-on-the-go-never-really-cuddles-unless-he's-almost-asleep boy let me hold him, even though he was awake. As I rocked my feverish bottle refusing child, I sang to him. I sang (I actually hum) all his regular songs, then I started singing all the ones I sang to him all hours of the night when he would not sleep as a newborn. The ones I sang on the floor to him when he finally needed to learn to put himself to sleep in his crib, yet I felt too guilty to let him cry all alone. All those songs brought so many memories back.
I had a moment. I know he is only 13 months, but in the last 13 months I have experienced emotions I never even knew I was capable of. From the most unexplainable blissful joy to the most extreme frustration to the most intense urge to protect to the craziest anxiety to uncontrollable laughter and the deepest depression. Being a parent is hard (and I know it will only get harder). But as I held my little boy just wishing I could take his fever, discomfort, sadness, misery, and any horrible experience he EVER may come across away from him... I knew that being a parent is the most fantastic, amazing, and extremely sacred experience I have the honor of being a part of. In that peaceful moment, when he was finally able to calm and go to sleep, I was his Momma. One of the most important jobs in the world.
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