So yesterday Chris and I went to hang out and have dinner with some of his old friends from high school because one of them was in town (it's been a nostalgic week). It is always sort of awkward in these types of situations because you have maybe only met these people at your wedding.... or theirs. And maybe only a couple other times.
Anyway, so Chris is laughing and reminiscing with his friends and wife A and wife B both have little children who they are giving their undivided attention too. So I am sitting there with my drink and the appetizers listening to Chris and his friends stories and just feeling out of place. At one point, even Chris said, "Man we will have to have a kid soon to fit in with this group." While I do want kids eventually, I don't have any now and I am tired of feeling awkward or ignored because I don't.
But I guess we all feel this way at one point. When your little and considered uncool (who decides anyway?) you might not be a part of the "popular/cool club". When you are single and not dating anyone you aren't a part of the "boyfriend club". Which means you aren't invited with your dating friends anywhere unless you are willing to be a third wheel. When your single and not married by the age of 21 (in Utah) you are practically an old maid. So by 21 your out of place by not being a part of the "married club". Well I'm not a part of the "Mom club".
However, the night did improve because little ones had to go to bed and I could carry on a conversation without someone being distracted by children. I was able to talk with Wife A and she was very down to earth and we had a great conversation. I understand that when you have children they do consume your entire life and so there is not much else you can do or talk about. I will probably be the same way when I have kids. I just dislike going to an already sort of awkward situation where I am the only one not in "the club".
*By the way, shout out to Kristina! I won an Us Weekly magazine subscription from her blog! I can drown my sorrows with celeb gossip!
6 comments:
i feel your pain. when we lived in george, we were the only ones without kids. even up here, with our closet friends- we are the only ones that havent done their job to mulitply and replenish the earth? dont furballs count? i think sophie is as difficult as a child:)
Thanks for the shout out!
I'm in a strange position, as most of my friends are not married, so they don't have kids. One of my best friends just got married, and I was telling Adam how I'm glad we don't have kids, so we can finally do fun couple's things with them.
One of my best friends, who has lived in Michigan for almost 4 years, is moving back next month, and she has a little boy and is pregnant. I'm curious to see how things go, as I think the dynamics may be interesting.
That's funny that just wrote about kids, Lisa! I just wondering today if you and Chris were thinking about it; I think it would be great to have nieces or nephews. And you know they'd be beautiful.
I went to a barbecue at a friends' house recently when Geoff was out of town. It was me and three couples all with babies less than a year old - one of those couples have twins! That experience was enough to remind me that I'm not too anxious to go into family mode right away.
I would think working with infants in a hospital might have the same effect. :-)
It's funny that you say that Jill. Because people ask me all the time if my job makes me baby hungry, and I always tell them it is actually pretty good birth control. Especially when you have had a perticularly long day with a screaming infant.
I completely agree w/ you girl- being around kids makes for good BC.
I think it all depends on the person though.
I know someone who has kids that whenever we go places with them, you always feel included.
BUT, I do know someone that also makes you feel like she can't relate to you "just because you don't have kids".
I hate those kind of people.
We've been in the same situation for 6 years Lisa. Sometimes you just have to ask questions about other things, but most of the time the chatter will come back around to kids.
I'll probably start doing the same thing in January when our little one comes.
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